For so many years, I lived in darkness stumbling through life, carving a path filled with pain and misery. I thought I was completely alone and felt this deep, deep void. Looking back now I can see God was calling to me even way back then. I remember one time in my late teens a single thought that would one day change my life.
Even as a teen I was a people watcher. I would often go to the mall and just hang out with friends and kind of watch people. I think a big part of this was my search for some kind of meaning of things. By the age of sixteen I had already been through much pain in life, I had little hope left in me. I was sitting in a Chick-Fil-A when it occurred to me that there had to be something more. I was convinced of it, after all I had seen, there had to be something more. There just had to, if not we were no better off than ants. Ants that spend their life time working and gathering things.
It was many years later before I would find what that something more was, but I still remember that day. Two failed marriages later I would find what that something was. After the death of both my parents in my mid twenties holidays became especially painful. I was working a job and a co-worker invited me to Thanksgiving dinner. I met a special lady there, one that could see past my hurt and pain. She was a strong Christian woman and I really liked her. So we started dating and seeing how important God was too her I thought I’d try this whole God thing.
We started going to Sunday school together and I really enjoyed it. Most of the few friends that I had managed to keep, were just amazed that I didn’t burst into to flames. I myself was surprised that in my brokenness I would be treated so well at church. Bit by bit, day by day I had more and more questions. I began reading the Bible more and more, old wounds I thought would never heal did.
One Sunday while in church I remember the music minster walking by me. He was always so kind and friendly and had a way about him. Before heading to the front he looked and me and said “Jesus loves you”. Now I had heard that song, but I guess in my brokenness I didn’t think it was possible. I can’t tell you what the sermon was that day or even what songs where sung. But, I can say that was the day I believed in Jesus. He was no longer just someone I would read about.
Now as a new Christian I still made my share of mistakes along the way. I stumbled and fell more than once or twice. But, Jesus helped me back up and we continued our walk. I later married that special lady and God has bless us with two children. The Lord has made me new, I’m not the person I once was and I am glad of it. Thankfully my story doesn’t just end with my salvation, it’s only the beginning. I walk with the Lord daily and he continues to mold me and shape me.
So it’s no wonder having been made in the image of God I would find myself in Jesus. I have been made new and the once impossible is now possible. Lord thank you for sending your Son to die on that cross for me. Lord I know I am not worthy, but through the blood of you precious Son that I am made righteous in your sight. I pray people that may be hurting and searching for meaning Lord would find you. I pray their would be healing through you Son.
I ask these things in Jesus name. Amen.